Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
