This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
