If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
