Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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