Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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