Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
