So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
