What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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