Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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