All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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