He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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