I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
