Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
