Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
