Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
