How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
