Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
