I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize