You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
