so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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