My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
