yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
