Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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