So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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