Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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