i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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