I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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