Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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