Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
