I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
