i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
