I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
