i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
