I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize