i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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