smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
