so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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