so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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