i jhust puked up my retainher.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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