White coat. Heels.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
whose parrot is this?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
