He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
