Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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