You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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