So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
