and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
