Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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