I'm gonna have a badass scar
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
