the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
