erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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