Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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