I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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