she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
