Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
