Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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