I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
