just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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