Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
