it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
