They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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