16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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